Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Give Up?


So there's this guy...

As I sit here listening to Solo I'm trying to figure out my next move on this bullshit called love.

So I've been on this roller coaster of a relationship for seven years now. While hes in jail we formed a closer relationship. Only thing is I don't know whats real anymore. Is this "jail house talk" or what I've wanted all my life? Recently we had an argument because he wont say that he loves me. I always thought that if you love someone you WANT them to know along with everyone else. What really takes the cake is when he said "if you had a friend that you didn't love but they said it to you when they were dying wouldn't you feel obligated to say it back?"

He asked this question because he said if I was dying he would say it by obligation.

It should be such an easy decision to just forget the loser but its sooooo hard. He has never been the type to be all lovey dovey but when I say that it makes me feel as if I'm making excuses for him and his actions. Not to mention he was in a relationship when he got locked up with someone else. I just can't help but feel as if he's only with me because he feels she wasn't there for him when he needed her. I feel like the rebound girl even though I was here first. I don't know if I want him because everyone thinks we should be together or because I'm selfish and I NEED to be the winner. There's no doubt that I love and care for him but maybe that's where it should end. I know I don't want to be hurt again but I'm scared that I might be miss my chance for love.

Also he promises that we're gonna move and start a life together BUT only if I get his name tatted on me but he doesn't wanna get mines. I'm not gonna lie I was considering it for a while but something smacked the shit out of my dumb ass and was like "bitch is you crazy?!" Not the grammatically correct conscience but the 'ghetto smack the sense back into ya black ass' conscience. He also said if I don't get it we wont be together but if I do I'm going to get something real big. You know what I sad? YEAH MUTHA FUCKIN' RIGHT!

Anyway I would appreciate some input and remember keep it as real as possible cuz RRR.(Real Recognize Real)



(I hope I don't regret posting this)

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